Music that makes you sick

As I wrote already in my last post my girlfriend broke up with me a little while ago. I'm not mad that it happened just how it happened. Again I'm keeping my promising not writing about it.

It's no secret that this breakup took quite a big toll on me and I struggled a lot and still am to be honest. After trying couple of things to cheer me up - e.g. I bought one of those happier in 30 days things which didn't work out at all - I realized the one thing that actually made me feel happy again was music. Which is what I want to talk about today.

The first few weeks were the hardest for me and the only days when I got home feeling ok was Thursdays. Thursdays I'm taking singing lessons and I have to say Joana teaches me well. And no, I won't record myself or anything. This is for me only to exit my comfort zone.

When I was a kid or a teenager to be more specific I wanted to be a YouTube star. Back then there was the thing coming up with copyright and that you cannot use any music you want in your videos. As I didn't want to get in trouble or had money to pay for this kinds of stuff I simply thought: Oi, just gonna make me own music.
Luckily for me my brother had a beat mix software lying around and I installed on my computer and shortly after started mixing. It was awful at best. As I had no microphone it's only instrumental - which I think is for the better. I managed to create a total of 7 songs. Well, songs is maybe a bit over the top some of them are mere skits. I'm listening to songs while writing this and honestly doubting my right to be alive .

My plan was then to be a rapper duo, yes a duo. I would use a voice changer for the second part. A little bit like Materia and Marsimoto - for those who know him - but at the same time. I was gonna name this "ISES" which is short for "Ich So, Er so" which translates to "I was like, he was like".
It turned out to be a little bit difficult as I could never give any concerts unless I find somebody who takes over the second part but then it's not me and my alter ego any longer. Just another idea of Planet Tommywood.

I was so cheeky with that I took the one song, slowed it on down and put is a different song on my album and marked it as "good morning edition" as it sounded more relaxed than the original. Not sure if genius or just a dick move. I had the album called "Aeroplane" but I don't remember why featuring tracks like "First Class", "Tuesday Night On A Blueberry Bounce" and "Not Yourself". Yes, teenage Tommy was weird.

Fast forward to January 17th, 12,020 when Halsey's new Album  "Manic" was released. Somehow that album spoke to me on a different level. Until then I was only listening to the song "1-800" but the rockier version by Our Last Night because rock music is way better.
At this I want to point out I did not want to kill myself, which is the meaning of the song, but I felt acknowledged. Then when Spotify suggested Halsey's album I started listening and never really stopped. It's bun running on and off ever since. I did hear about hear before that but not that much really. So much that one drunken night I bought a ticket to her concert in Barcelona which will me my first Pop concert - if you can consider it pop, as according to Wikipedia it also classifies as "alternative rock"

The album is quite mellow accept for a few songs that have a more upbeat sound which for me was good as that was exactly how I felt. That's the focus here is: was. Last night something really weird happened. It all started roughly a month ago when I short-handedly decided to get a new tattoo and the artist played some music I never heard before (when I tell you know who it is you'll shit bricks). Some slow, easy listening hip hop. It wasn't my first choice obviously but I quite liked it. And while lying on that table, half-naked as always, I started nodding my head according to the beat. I couldn't see the screen so I couldn't check who it was but thanks to the Internet I could shazam it and badaboom I had the song and artist.
I took another three weeks until I remembered it again and last night I was sitting on my bed reading my bed and thought I wanted to listen to that song; and so I did. Now Halsey has been replaced on my Spotify with a guy called Post Malone who I always considered as a "Graddler" - sorry I cannot translate that word fully, so you either know or don't.

Anyway, as his music is quite relaxed and all I started feeling more upbeat again which feels amazing.

After the break up my friend Perry told me I should start making music, as that's what kept him insane after his break up. I'm not much of a musician. I wrote one song in my life and it sucked. But I realized the importance of music and what role it plays in my life. To everyone who plays an instrument or does anything related to music, thank you.