Yes we Can…cún

I came to Mexico for the same reasons everybody does: tequila, tacos and tattoos.
Well, I’m not a big tequila fan which makes this kind of stupid and I’m probably getting only one tattoo representing Mexico (as I did in other countries so far) so what’s left are tacos. I gotta say this: if you’ve ever eaten tacos and then tried some in Mexico it’s a huge difference, pretty much with every food that comes not from your area, the same with everything from Asia.
Currently, my top three for food is 1) Chinese, 2) Mexican and 3) Bratwurst. That’s why I was hella stoked when I got here. But first thing’s first.

My flight into Mexico was therefore nice as it was an American airline I had the safety instructions in English so I finally understood what was going on and what I had to do in an emergency. Pro tip: don’t die!

I stayed with a guy in Cancún. I met him a while ago on the Internet. Try to do this ten years ago.
He was kind, picking me up from the airport, unfortunately he had no sign with my name on it … but at least something.

First day we went to the beach and now I gotta drop something: Cancún is the exact same thing as Miami.
A shitload of hotels along the beach, white sand, beautiful blue water, it’s really expensive and there are a lot of US Americans.
I hated it. Everyone I met assumed I was from the States and just talked to me in English, when I then answered in a perfect Spanish with heavy accent they looked at me like ¿¿¿Qué??? ¿¿¿Un gringo que habla español???
No soy gringo, puta. That’s what I told ’em. BTW I now know where the word gringo comes from.

In total my stay in Cancún was probably one of the most boring one as, to be honest, I didn’t do shit. I was just staying at Augusto’s house, watching TV and yeah that’s it. I think I was the most uselest piece of society I’ve ever been in my life.
Aaaanyhow, I tried some original tacos (not the best ones), quesadillas and a thing called gringas, which are just quesadillas with filling. Most delicious thing. Highly recommended.

As mentioned, nothing really happend so I keep on going.

After two weeks we went to Tulum, which is a small beach town south of Cancún. Alex told me earlier on my trip this is the place to be and he was right. The beach is just stunning. I’ve never seen, in my whole life, anything like that. Words can’t describe how beautiful this little village is. The only bad thing is, well it’s not really bad just annoying a bit, the beach is a bit far away. Though you just rent a bike and drive there slow and easy. I think it was the first time on my trip that I was on a bike again. It felt so great. Cycling. Moving your feet. I guess you know how to cycle. As always it’s the simple things.

Near Tulum are some Mayan ruins to where we went on our first day there. I was a little bit afraid as they are just amazing, especially with the beautiful ocean in the background, that they would be better than Chichén Itzá to where I definitely wanted to go.

Augusto left the other and I was free again. A true traveler. Alone. Not knowing anyone in the hostel. But it changed super quickly when I met this Swedish ginger girl, Magdalena, and through her that Israeli girl, Michal. We went together to some cenotes which basically are water holes in the ground in crazy shapes. Sometimes it’s just like a lake with fresh water or a river depends on the shape. Some of them though have caves underwater which must be a paradise for every diver. For me as a snorkeler let’s just say it was nice to see the kids having fun down there.
It’s been a while since I snorkeled, which was in Egypt couple of years ago, so I had some troubles in the beginning.
As Demetri Martin described it “I went snorkeling slash surprise-drinking-a-lot-of-water”.

It was really cool though. The very first cenote we went to had these fish spa fishes. I don’t know what species they are but they are fishes that eat the dead skin of your feet. Also hands I tested it. Those are the only body parts I had them eat.
Funny thing is: I’m ticklish as hell. So picture this, me sitting there, to my left and my right each a guy about 2 m (6’5″) tall and 100 kg (220 lbs) heavy, loads of muscles, really grumpy looking, and I’m in the middle giggling really loudly in a high pitch because it’s too ticklish. A picture for gods. Unfortunately I don’t have one.

The next day is similar. Getting up too late, rent a bike, drive to the cenote, drive back and dine the best hamburger in the world. Sorry Scott, your’s is, I’m afraid, only second.

It’s a small stand outside of the Oxxo store in Tulum, Av. Satellite one block North of the Shéck hostel. If you ever be in Tulum or in that area of Mexico, please, PLEEAASSEE, do yourself a favor and get this burger. It’s called pok-chuk and this guy is really nice, a ‘really good wave’, and this is his passion as he told us.
Perfectly spiced patty, soft buns (self made), fresh salad and onions, incredibly tasty sauce, fried chili and a tiny bit of chorizo for a little bit of extra taste. One time he made it with pineapple. OMG I swear I have the weirdest boner right now just describing you how delicious it was. (Remember that one episode of How I Met Your Mother?) Oooh, how I miss this burger.
It comes with chips (British: crisps; Australian: a pack of cold chips you usually eat while watching TV or serve at a party) but in this case they were warm because he made them himself, sliced it and fried it and served it directly from the fryer. So delicious. I’m haunting it in my dreams.

Back to track: Michal and I went to Chichén Itzá which is now the 3rd of the 7 wonders of the modern world that I saw. It was quite amazing. You stand there, on the field, watching the pyramid and hear jaguars howling. No worries, there were no real jaguars, just some douche bags who sold flutes that make that sound. The bigger douche, however, was that kid on our bus who actually bought one. Like seriously dude wtf.

I don’t want to devaluate it as it is really impressive how they built this incredibly, mathematically accurate pyramid. However, I like Machu Picchu way more than Chichén Itzá. And the Christ Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro was the worst of those that I saw. Here you can see that the Mayas and Inkas were quite similar.
All of their buildings were based on the stars and sommer and winter solstice and both were incredible mathematicians, engineers, astrologists and tiny. 1.40 m (4’7″) the tallest? Are you even…?
You gotta give them some credit for their calendar though. It was so accurate it was off only about 30 minutes in total. Not every year or something. We all remember that movie. Oh, wasn’t it a good movie? At least until 2013.

It’s a great day trip for sure. I recommend it to everyone. And it’s not even a little exhausting to get there. Not like MP, but maybe that’s why Machu Picchu is more impressive as you actually have to lift your fat ass up those stairs. Gosh was this exhausting.

Those were my days on the Yucatan peninsula … so far. I’m definitely coming back.

After these amazing days I decided for a change. Getting away from stupidly beautiful white beaches of the Caribbean and sun and cold beers and hot girls in bikinis it was time to go into the coldness into the (I think right now it’s the) 2nd biggest city in the world.
Usually when you fly you see the city from above and just getting bigger right before you land. Not in Mexico-City. It starts before you even approach landing. It’s an amazing sight.

And this is where I am right now. Little update for you forkers and see you again.
When I see you again, see you agaiaaiin.