Bogotá, DC (District of Colombia)

This is not where it ends. They have a fucking jacuzzi in the bathroom and if this weren’t enough on the third floor is a swimming pool and sauna and bet your sweet ass we went swimming and sweating again.

My arrival in Bogotá couldn’t start any better: The plane arrives on time which is pretty unique for the VivaColombia airline, everybody who ever went with them knows what I’m talking about. It’s like Spirit in the States or RyanAir in Europe. Interesting was that it was the same flight attendant than on my first flight from Cali to Medellín. You know the one with the really huge buttocks. She couldn’t remember me. Talk about service hey. Anyhow the flight was on time but it took forever until I got my backpack but well. Outside of the airport my old friend Tito picked me up. After being at so many airports recently (17 in total) it’s so nice to be picked up. Nothing to worry about how to get anywhere. It’s almost perfect. First we go to his parents’ house which is a bit out of town in a really nice area. I put my stuff, changed clothes and then we left again. It’s a really nice hut. No wonder that this is where he takes his girls. We arrive at his flat/house which is not as beautifully decorated as his parents but it’s acceptable. And this is when it all started: When I remember it correctly, which I clearly don’t, it was two of his cousins and his cousins best friend having a little party. We immediately started to drink aguadiente, for those who don’t know what it is, don’t drink it when somebody offers it to you. Just don’t. Long story short: I got happy in very little time. Liquor, beer, gin&tonic and after about 45 minutes maybe we left again. This one friend of them I think was into me as she hugged me like 100 times to say good bye. Gringo-bonus. I really want to tell this story as accurate as possible but as mentioned before, well let’s see what I remember. We took a cab to a club. To get to this club you have to go through a casino. Or you don’t but Tito always takes this way. Maybe because securities touch him which arouses him I really don’t know. Anyhow being for the very first time in an actual casino, not the bullshit I went to in Monaco, I had the urge to gamble a bit. Roulette, Black Jack and Hookers. I even won a little bit. But after some beers and the atmosphere I was stung by the gamble bee and kept on betting. After couple of minutes of fun I lost 20,000. That was fun. We then went to the club. According to the wrist band I got it’s called “once” (Spanish for eleven). Apparently at some point I told Tito that I like Colombian rum and we ordered a bottle. Gosh we got so bangaloed. Or at least I got. All I remember is that I danced with pretty much everybody. But it get’s better. I remember that the rum burned so much that half of the time I just sucked some ice cubes to not die. Pussy.

Next thing I know is that I wake up in Tito’s bed … with all my clothes on. No hangover which is really surprising. But I had to pee so I strolled to the bathroom only to find out that it is under construction. Well, that’s not what you want to see in that situation. But luckily there was another one.

The next day starts really early. I have no idea how many hours I slept. As I know myself probably slept already a bit in the club.
Tito has a football game so we left at 9:30 ish, get some McDonald’s breakfast and here we are again. With a gringo on his side we arrive way too late so he only played the second half but as he said before “In this condition I ain’t playing 90 minutes”. His teammate another cousin. Those Latin famliies are fucking huge.
I just lied in the shades waiting for it to end. Next to me some jerks who already had a beer at 10 am. Then this guy walked over asking me if I wanted one. Sure man keep it going. Three beers later and a 3:1 loss we left.

We are going to this golf club out of town. I have never been to one before so I was quite amazed. We spent like 2 hours or something just in the sauna sweating out the hangover. That felt so damn great. Sauna wasn’t mixed though. Disappointing but at least all the old fucks wore towels to cover everything. I was not in a condition to deal with that.
After that we had some really good lunch. Hmm-hmm. And only for about 4 euros. Incredible. Like Tito said “Colombia is a paradise, when you’re rich.” No shit.
I mean 4 euros is not a lot but here people have to work maybe one month to get this.

After that we go back to his house and look for a hostel for me in the inner city where I will be staying for the next few days.
I arrive so tired that I just go to bed and sleep till next morning.
It’s been amazing first 24 hours in this city. Thanks a lot.

The second day starts less dramatic. I find the toilet directly. A nice little breakfast which is followed by a power nap of about two hours. I seriously don’t know why but I’m tired as hell. My plan was to attend the Walking Tour this morning but ah-ah. Luckily the have it two times a day so I manage to go to the Graffiti tour in the afternoon.

On my way there I had the worst Poutine ever. Poutine is that one good thing from Canada. While I was in Toronto this dish was heaven on earth. Fries, cheese and gravy. It already sounds amazing, eh?. But the one here. Like mother said “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything”.

The tour was great, the guide not the best tour guide I ever had but the Graffitis are awesome. There are around 8,000 active street artists in Bogotá and we only went to a fraction of what is out there and I was absolutely stunned. This tour is totally recommended. After that I treat myself with the pizza I had on this trip. Made by a real Italiano. Grazie mille.

The third starts pretty much like the second: breakfast and a shower. But then I meet with Fabian, he’s a local and learning German (also French, Italian and Swedish) so we meet to have something like a language tandem. It ends in a we walk around Bogotá and he shows me the area-tandem. Which is cool.
First we just walk around and he shows me the usual stuff like here a church, there a church everywhere a church-church, palace of the president, you can imagine. Nothing really special.
After that we’re going to the Museum of the National Police. It’s all about Police pride and how cool it is to be a police officer in Colombia. It’s actually a huge exhibition of all the Colombian gangsters they took down over the last 100 years pretty much. Of course Pablo Escobar is a large part of it, “the most dangerous man”. It’s really interesting and recommend everyone who’s into that to read his biography. It’s written by his brother. In Medellín, where he lived, you can do the Escobar-Tour and when you’re lucky, you can meet his brother. He’s not really nice though. But after all this shit I can understand why he is like that. Having Gringos coming in your home everyday, I’d go nuts as well.

After this museum we head over to the Gold Museum. It’s nice to see all the jewelry and stuff they made out of gold. All the indigenous treasures made me feel like I’m playing Uncharted again only this time you will see them in real life. After all it’s just another museum but with a lot of gold. Recommended for a rainy day if you don’t see it, don’t worry.

Then I got a little bit hungry and we decided to have something “little”. Colombian cuisine is not really famous or especially delicious but is has something good: the portion. The dishes they give are huge. And for that really cheap. It’s like Eastern Europe a bit. A schnitzel as big as your head.
Delicious.

After that a little bit more of city walking aaand it’s time for the game. Colombia vs Uruguay. Fabian tells me that all international games are held in Baranquilla, in the north of the country. Why? Because it’s fucking hot there. And other countries are not used to that heat and are more likely to lose.
It reminds me of that American Football team in the Rocky Mountains (I forgot their name but who cares, it’s only the US) who wins all the home games as nobody is used to the thin air and gets out of breath easily.

Anyhow, me a huge football game, of course don’t watch the game and take a nap instead. On this point I want to quote Alex “If I had to describe you with one sentence it would be ‘I’m going to take a nap'”. God, how right he was.
Fabian left to Uni to learn more German again, he’s really ambitious.

Couple of hours later I meet with Angela. I also met her through the tandem app HelloTalk and recommend this app to anyone who wants to practice languages. She invites me over to her place and now hold on the table: it’s the most luxurious flat I’ve ever been.
The view is amazing, 15th floor, all the city lights, but hold on. One picture says more than thousand words so there you go:

Before coming to Bogotá I really don’t know when was the last time I’ve been in a sauna.
I know you’re starving for a picture of me sweating but I have to let you down guys #NoRickAstley

After another couple of hours in the heat we go back in to the coldness of Bogotá followed by a nice dinner (which I have made) and a nice talk.

It doesn’t sound quite impressive but I had a hell of a time here in Bogotá. Admitted Medellín is the better city but I had better experiences here and I’ve only been in Bogotá three days and in Medellín four months.
Yet again Colombia is a paradise, when you’re rich.

This is pretty much how my stay here in Bogotá ends. Now I´m just waiting for my cab to the airport and I’m flying to the hottest part in this country.

Hasta luego Bogotá. I’m gonna miss you.