TommyReady, set, go!!!

7 days to go …

When I woke up this morning, it was the first time that I realized I will be gone for one whole year. That’s a really long time actually.

To this point I always was like “Yeah. I’ll leave soon” but it did not really felt like something big. Just another trip. Only for a little bit longer.
My last trip through Spain were also only five months and it didn’t feel that long.


I think it might be that way because yesterday I started to clean up my room. I put all the stuff from my shelves into a box for two reasons:
1) I don’t want the cats to jump around and throw something off of the shelves and break it. Asshole cats.
2) It’s easier to clean off the dust for my mother who’ll take care of everything.

So when I woke up and saw the window sill without all the framed pictures, toys and souvenirs from my trips it felt so … wrong.
When I drove to work yesterday I felt so sad. Maybe it was the weather and the fact that I said good bye to a good friend the night before. When I left to Spain, I sat in the bus and she sent me a text and upon reading it I felt the tears running over my cheeks.

Even at work: the one guy, we got quite good friends in this short time, I told him that I’ll be leaving soon and told him not to tell anyone. Next thing he does: telling it. Fucking asshole.
In the end I don’t really care, next Monday at the latest the would have found out anyways. But that’s just not what one does.

To describe how I feel today it sounds like Thomas Newman’s “Any Other Name“.

3 days to go …

This is my last day at work. It has been only two months but still I had a good time, got connected with some of those and got some really good tips to where to go in America.

I mentioned it before but I’m not good at good byes. I prefer just leaving and leaving a note over actually saying good bye and shake their hands. I mean what the hell are they thinking…
Sometimes, though, it actually feels good just to be able to say good bye. I once read that funerals are not for the dead but for the living for this very reason. It kinda amazes me how close you can get in a short time only because you see each other every day. Even my boss gave me hug. That was kinda odd but a nice gesture.
It was as if she wanted to say “you’re gone and I gotta stay high all the time to keep you off my mind”.
Nah just kidding. I had a good time there, that’s actually what I’m trying to say. Even though the office is situated in the middle of nowhere and a one-hour bus ride isn’t worth to just sit around half day wondering how some people even managed to open their web browser.
Or “prank calls” from Anna Schmidt who has now idea how a prank call works. But this is not the time to complain about this.

Hah, working in a call center. I’m definitely not going to miss it. But I already said that after my internship at ADAC (a German automobile club) and a couple of years later I’m here. It’s just a matter of perspective. As always I’m trying to keep the bright side of it in memory.
Ironically my boss is going to ADAC soon. Good luck. You’re gonna need it.
At this very momentum this feels like a Walter Dick move.

It got even weirder: After my shift ended we were standing around over a cigarette and everybody was really nice to me. How cool it is to do such a trip. Almost everyone hugged me, even the one women that only works at night and I have seen maybe two times.
That’s a little bit of the spirit you experience travelling. People you barely now tell you their deepest secrets, share their fears and wishes and sometimes you don’t even know their name. I think that’s the reason why people are able to do that. The same on the internet: it’s easier to tell strangers that you are gay, killed someone or whatever and still you get mocked regardless of gender, body shape, race or beliefs. How cool is that? That’s real equality in my eyes.

On my way home it was the first time I got really, really excited about it. I was almost freaking out in the car. My legs were shaking. My head was spinning. My heart was beating like ratta-tatta-tat. Luckily the police didn’t stop me, they would’ve thought I was on drugs or something.

At home I had to wait five minutes outside of the car and take several deep breaths before I could act “normal” again.

my last day to go…

Four months have passed since I’ve been home. The time from which I decided to do this trip to today was quicker than I had imagined.
“I still got time. I still got a couple of weeks.” And here I am now, not knowing what’ll happen.

I have to think of the story of my friend’s neighbor who also did a trip on his scooter, a backpack and lot of money and two weeks later he came back with nothing. Absolutely nothing. Only the clothes he was wearing that’s all he had.
Unfortunately I forgot why this happened. He probably had an accident with his scooter, got robbed and had to walk home. I don’t know.
Will such things happen to me? Or what kind of things will happen to me? I always tell myself “if Cameron can do this, I can do it blindfolded.”
I wouldn’t do that of course.

… The day is ending, I’m sitting in front of my laptop and try to enjoy every little bit of my home. My beer bottle collection, my collection of post cards above my bed, my souvenirs above my desk, my new favorite band which I discovered two days ago, the extremely bad smell of Miley who had to jump the ponds. Simply everything.
All the good byes with my family today it was really nerve-wrecking. I’m going to cry again in the bus. That’s for sure already.

My appearance hasn’t changed a lot since last time so you got pretty accurate profile pictures in case of me going missing or something. Just keep an eye for my unique, awesome-looking tattoos.

I even put out my stuff for tomorrow. I realized that I forgot to safe one of the good pair of underwear. Now I have to wear one of the not-so-good-looking-ones for the bus ride. Duh, it’s a hard knock life. I’m so excited right now. It came in last couple of hours. My dad felt it, too. “The calm before the storm”, he said to me. He’s right. He’s a wise man.

As it is quite late already I’m going to put my head down and hope deeply that I will sleep calmly one last time in my own bed. Or that I can sleep at all. So excited as I am I bet I won’t sleep a bit tonight. But it’s not that tragic as I got six hours in the bus where I also can’t sleep, too. But this time I got earplugs. Haha. Learned from last time.

With those words I want so say “smell ya later” to all those I didn’t manage to see one last time.
And to all my pregnant friends (incredible how many people got infected with that this year) when you’re in labor I hope the best for you and remember to name your little bastard Thomas … as it gives them an advance in life.

I hope you guys wont forget me now. I know the song’s message doesn’t quite fit but that song is on fiiiirree.