Hostel life – part deux

Living in a hostel is only as good as you make it.

The River Hostel, Valencia

I bet there are a lot of people who can tell more bizarre stories than I can, still I want to present you a small list of kind of people you meet in a hostel:

1. the backpacker

He’s the typical tourist you meet in every hostel during the main season. The reason why he’s here differs. Additionally there are a lot of subgroups of backpackers, from world explorers to the “my father has too much money”-traveler.
Most of them are kind and open-minded and are glad to meet someone to explore the city with or simply to hang around. They just want a good time and like to talk about their experience and are interested in almost everything. They are grateful for any inside tip about local specialties, cheap bargains, distinct places, etc.
They wont stop until they’ve seen everything and don’t mind if you still don’t know their name after four days as they already know so many people and meet new ones every day.
Except for some of them who, despite free showers, smell like shit, they’re one of the best clients a hostel can have. I think.

2. the student/worker/fresh starter

A certain group of people who are in town mostly for a longer period. Most of the day they just sit around in the lobby with their laptop and torture the keyboard, they seek through the internet, write e-mails, do phone calls to find a new accommodation for the next time. Their feature – a notebook – which nobody else can read … and sometimes even they can’t.
They don’t talk much and when they do they ask for so abandoned streets not even Google knows them and then they look at you wondering if you’re a receptionist or a frying pan. But hey, fuck off, I at least speak Spanish.
Except for such idiots they are nice people who try to bond some ties which they forget after a while as you “only” work for a hostel.

3. the event-hunter

It’s either a champions league match, the Moto GP, the Tomatina festival oder the local trade fare, there are always some douche bags who have to go there. The worst are those who got the entrance as a gift as they don’t even know shit.
Except for the breakfast and for sleeping they don’t spend much time in the hostel and leave you more or less alone.
However, they have abso-fucking-lutely no idea when what starts. And if you don’t know exactly what they have to do you are the problem.
It’s not like that big events tell you how to get there. We’re in the 21st century guys where you literally can find EVERYTHING on the internet.

Worse are people who book the whole thing online and some of them tells the evening before that you need the ticket in a printed version and suddenly everybody goes nuts and wants to print it. Well shithead, my night shift ends at 7 am and your bus leaves at 6. So, if me bother me any longer your mail will be caught by the spam filter.

A small advice to you guys when you are in a hotel or something similar: you have no idea what happens behind the curtains so be kind to the employees. Especially if the receptionist, who you nagged all night long, is the very same guy that serves your freaking breakfast.

4. the couple

How many times did he forgot her birthday/the anniversary/whatever and in the very last second he proposed a city trip. As she always wanted to go to <crappy place> the trip is booked.
Which itself is not a problem at all as they either look around the city or spend the time on the room. Luckily, I don’t work for cleaning.

And of course only one can speak Spanish or English. At the check-in at the latest there is a problem. It’s eiter no twin bed, or a twin bed, the shower is dirty, the room smells, the receptionist is unfriendly. For fucks sake this ain’t a five-star-hotel.
There is one advantage, though: the bigger the douche bag of them (there is always one) the nicer the other one. When you talk to the non-dominant partner who just answers “I understand that and it’s ok.”, these are the moments that’ll make your day.

5. the tour group

Doesn’t matter if its a sports group, a school class, a group of elder people or other groups. We had a lot of them in the hostel during the past weeks and serving dinner to all of them really sucks.
The behaviour of each group differs from the age and the size of the group, or if they only speak Spanish or also English or neither nor.
For example child groups are incredibly loud. I don’t get why children are so loud. They sit on the couch everyone with his own smartphone in the hands and still they are as loud as a Manowar concert. I want to apologize to everybody who had to deal with me when I was a child. On the other hand they are most of the time nicer than teenager.
Children after a fashion throw the plastic plates at least IN the extra provided trash can while teenagers have no need to do so. But I think that’s karma as I also didn’t do that when I was that age.
Groups are socially incapable. They have their plans which they tick each after the other. They come, cause stress and chaos and leave after a few days.
They only like you if they are about to go on pub crawl and you know all the bars and clubs … and you’re off.
Otherwise your just a name tag behind the counter.

6. the squad

As a subgroup of the travel group you’ll always find some friends who decide to spend their “vacation” in another, cheaper country.
However, you have to differ: are there only boys/girl or is it mixed. Are they 18 or already more “mature”. And how long have they been friends.
For example: we had a group of Irish (everyone was 60+) who celebrated life like there’s now tomorrow (which seems adequate considering their age) till 5 am singing in the bar. I admired them honestly. When I’m that old I want to be like them.
One night they freaked the fuck out so that the police had to come and on their last night they started at 6 pm, went to a football match and then kept drinking till 5 am. Dude, I know people in my age who can’t cope with that. Now say that elder people can’t do shit.
The whole thing ended as a younger guy attacked one of the Irish with a broken bottle. Welcome to the River Hostel.
You can’t measure all groups with the same yardstick, though, except that it’s never quiet with them. Thanks again guys for all the chaos you left. Like this I had at least something to do during night shift.

7. the lonesome

Last but not least: the lonesome ranger. He is either a misfit, who has seen the whole world and still doesn’t find a place to stay, or he has worked for almost every global company and for sure he knows all the tricks but to be honest he sucks and treats people like shit. That’s why nobody wants to work with him anymore.
His thing: he talks. Waaaaayyy too much. Sometimes so much you can’t even work. If he talked about something interesting I wouldn’t mind.

Normally they are quiet and act ordinary. For some of them I feel really sorry as they sit there. Alone. Eat their meals. Alone. Go to bed, explore the city and have a beer. Alone.
They criticize the coffee or the cheese toast just to talk to somebody. Bitch please, there’s nothing to criticize on my ham-n-cheese toast. I ate this every morning and know how to proffer it perfectly. In the end they go as the came without any hue and cry to the next city. Keep on looking for company.

Well, that was a small abstract of my experience I made while working at the River Hostel Valencia. Even if I cursed, sweated and cried a lot, dang it, it was one of the best times I have had so far.
Everybody who’s nearby should check it out. Room 24 – bed 8, forever my home.

Thank you for everything. Sincerely.

…

8. your new best friend

He comes out of nothing and you have a goddamn good time. Of course he has to go leave after a couple of days but as you are best friends now he comes back and, believe it or not, you will have an even better time together .. is that even possible?
You don’t even mind if he makes you drink till dawn and the next morning your boss sees you drunk but you don’t give a shit because now you have a friend that’ll visit you in the gutter. With a beer of course.

This is to all the cool guys I met during the last two months.
Mum, make some room I’ll bring some visitors.